Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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