Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
