My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You took a bar mat shot.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
