Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just found puke in my bra..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
