Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
