i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
