Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
