i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
