He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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