their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
