So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
