We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
