I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
