some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
