dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
