Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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