My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
