HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
