There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
