put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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