forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
