honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
