She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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