I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
