Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
