3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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