Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
