I think I won the penis lottery.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
