You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
