ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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