You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i think i just lost a toe
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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