just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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