i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
