I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize