i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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