that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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