So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
