Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
