Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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