Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
