i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
