I want to have your abortion
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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