dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
