hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
