Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
