O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
