If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
