By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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