I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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