i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
