Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize