I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
