so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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