i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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