the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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