I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
