I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
