i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
