I CAN MOONWALK!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
